I could barely treated you as my friend right now.So please don't treat me so well, as for now.
I knew that i couldn't rely on you anymore.
I'll have to wake up someday...
Everyone says that i've changed included you, who said that to me.
But i believe time will heal those pain in my heart.
Because i've never ever blame or to hate you.
You're not the only reason why i'm hurting myself and suffering so much.
So please, don't come and blame yourself and say those crap like repaying me and stuffs.
I knew that you'd be reading my blog when you're free for sure.
If you happens to read all these that i've said here.
Do read it properly and carefully.
I, Jolyn have never blame you before so you could stop blaming yourself.
I don't need anyone included you to repay me anything.
Just wished that you would or could to take care of your health and live happily, thats all.
What's done seriously can't be undone, so why not look forward?
I've never hate or blame you, not even once before!
Stop thinking so much that it was all because of you, can you?
Just like what i've said, i do need everyone support included you right now.
Stop being like this when i'm really very down recently.
Or not i might really turned out damn down that you've ever seen before.
Atleast i knew that i was once treated well and happily by you, as your girlfriend.
I could barely say out everything right now.
But all i wanted to say was, i've never regret being with you once before.
Thanks alot for being there to walk the path with me once before.
Never you'll find out that things turned out to be,
i've became the one that loved you truly,
madly and deeply more than you've loved me.
Everywhere that i've gone to, you're always in my mind.
I could barely ease those memories that was made by you.
Whenever i walked past anywhere, when there was me and you,
i'll start to shed my tears, anywhere, everywhere or even anytime.
Perhaps, i'm just like a cry baby to everyone.
But it was still me after all.
I seriously need time to recover those pain and memories.
I could hardly sleep now, the only way i used was to drunk myself to bed. :'(
And what's even worse was i could still dreamt of you everyday when i'm asleep,
while woken up with all tears around my eyes.
The only thing that you've left behind was that pink dolphin.
So the only thing i could do is to cry infront of that doll,
whenever i thinked about you even when i'm awake or even asleep.
Yes, i tried to hind my feelings infront of everyone,
been pretending that i'm alright...
because i doesn't want anyone to worry about me.
Thats the only thing i could do to let them stop worrying about me now.
But actually i'm still very down and seriously down.
Whenever others asked me about you,
i could barely tell them, where'd you or every single thing about you.
Because whenever i'm wanting to answer them,
my tears just can't stop flowing very badly and unknowingly.
Just like something was stuck inside my mouth terribly,
untill i couldn't talk properly or even to talk any single thing about you.
Just like what you've asked me or stuffs, if i'm alright...
I could tell you that i'm alright but deep down inside my heart i'm seriously not.. :'(
What else can i do??
I couldn't do anything, nothing at all. :'(
Yet the only thing i can do now is to bite everything,
and keep everything inside my heart and to move on if i can...
Please don't come and ask me anything or what so ever further more,
because the only reply from me was i'm really alright even if i'm seriously or totally not...
Now that you've know how much you've hurted me and how much you mean to me.
So the only way and the only thing you could help me right now is,
to stop blaming and hating yourself...
If you really want me to get well soon~
Here would be the last thing i would like to say...
All those photos that was taken when we're still happily together.
There's still more but i couldn't upload it any longer. :'(
Goodbye my dearest love, and you're the best after all!
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Everything was in a mess, for me right now.
I could barely treated you as my friend right now.
